Closing out 2023

I am incredibly grateful for a wonderful 2023! It has been filled with new adventures, learning, highs and lows and of course dancing! As we get ready to usher in a New Year, I have set some resolutions for myself and for my family.

I love the idea of goal setting and manifesting. I also love the concept of having guidelines to come back to if you feel like you have diverged from the rails. These are my Twelve Resolutions for 2024:

1. Focus on Health!

2. Prioritize 30 mins of movement every day

3. One date with my husband per week

4. One-on-one date with each child one time per month

5. Declutter and get rid of all children’s clothing and shoes that are too small

6. Establish three brand partnerships for BAR in the first half of the year

7. Play more golf

8. Eliminate stress

9. Learn to say NO!

10. Less is More!

11. One gratitude message per day

12. Be a Fountain, Not a Drain!!!

I can’t express my heart-filled gratitude enough for continuing to be on this journey with me and I wish you a healthy and prosperous New Year!

The Case for Social Distancing

Right now we are in an unprecedented time in our world. I am sure this will be documented in history books as we are in uncharted territory. The most important thing we can do at the moment is to have Social Distance! I see a lot of people talking about why they are #socialdistancing and a lot of it has to do with the elderly. Well I am here to tell you that for us it goes way beyond this as no one is “safe” from this, but we are especially concerned for the immune-supressed or those with underlying conditions. As of today, March 25th, the CDC has highlighted the following category for people who are high-risk for severe illness from COVID-19: People with chronic lung disease or moderate to severe asthma. We are all too familiar with this as our oldest son was diagnosed with asthma at age 4. The photo above was the day he was discharged from the hospital after a battle of asthma and a complication of pneumonia nearly two years ago. The following story highlights why this is so serious and why we have been “quarantining” for 3 weeks already and we implore you and your family to continue to stay at home and help flatten the curve.

What started as an average school night almost two years ago, turned into one of the scariest nights of our lives. While M.J. had been officially diagnosed with asthma at age four, he had respiratory issues starting around age 2. Nebulizers and inhalers were constants in our home and we learned a lot of terminology like Flovent and Albuterol. Our family lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and we were dealing with horrible air quality as a repercussion of the wild fires that were rampant across California. While getting ready for bed that evening, M.J. complained of a “tummy ache.” That was a common theme that kept reappearing and the week before I had bought a Pulse Oximeter that measures Oxygen levels after seeing one advertised on Amazon. Out of an abundance of caution I decided to get it out for the first time to see what his levels were. His Oxygen level was 91 and so I decided to give him his inhalers and see how he fared. His levels went up to 93 so after consulting with my husband I put him to bed as he was exhausted and acting normal otherwise and went back to cleaning up the house and getting ready for bed myself. 

Right before bed each night I check in on the children one last time and decided to take M.J.’s oxygen level again. His breathing didn’t look alarming to me (heavy retracting of the neck), but I wanted to see if it had stabilized. His oxygen level was 89! This was so surprising and my husband was even convinced that the pulse oximeter was just not working properly. Mothers intuition made me immediately change into sweats and insist we take him to the ER. Our two-year-old was also asleep and my husband was not sure we should go as M.J. was sleeping soundly and his breathing didn’t seem that labored. 

But once again my motherly instinct kicked in and I just knew we had to take him immediately! So my husband and I each grabbed a sleeping child and buckled them in their car seats and raced to the ER. I decided when we arrived that my husband should wait in the car with our two-year-old so he could continue sleeping and I would just run M.J. in to have him looked at and most likely a quick breathing treatment and then be on our way home. Shouldn’t take more than an hour I thought! Boy was I wrong!!

When I got in there the triage nurses knew the situation was dire and got M.J. on oxygen and back into a room immediately! Everything moved so quickly that my head was spinning! It was 11 o’clock in the evening, I was 5 months pregnant with our baby girl, and I was alone in an ER with our son who was having an asthma attack for the first time, but never once voiced that he couldn’t breathe! It was such a scary and out of body experience being told that if we hadn’t brought him in he wouldn’t have had enough oxygen! That motherly instinct is pretty incredible!! In my mind though, I had always envisioned an asthma attack much differently…gasps for air and the look of distress! That was not the case for us, however!

The doctors were fantastic and immediately had steroid treatments and oxygen to open up his lungs and his numbers went up so I still thought we would be heading home sometime within the next few hours! But, the doctors quickly realized his numbers were not stabilizing and he needed to remain on oxygen until his O2 level could settle around 95. 

I sent my husband home to put Max back to bed and I sat up with M.J. all night long staring at his vitals. M.J. and I had some interesting experiences including listening to a Stanford Freshman who had come via ambulance for drinking too much. Even though M.J. was in a pediatric unit of the ER, this 18-year-old was next to us and cried like a baby for his mom while throwing up non-stop. My six year old learned two things from frightfully listening to that (these are his words I might add) : 1) You will always want your mama and 2) I will never drink alcohol! (Hopefully that never changes!) After listening to that debacle he was finally moved into a private room around three o’clock in the morning and I was still convinced he would be heading home soon!

Wrong again!! When his numbers would not improve they realized that something was compromising his lungs and that he was not able to get the necessary oxygen levels without being on oxygen. That meant he was to be admitted to the Children’s Hospital. I was still in disbelief that this child is the same one that my husband questioned eight hours earlier if he really needed to go to the ER. It was such a crazy and surreal experience!

He was hospitalized for four days. Those long days consisted of breathing treatments, steroids and oxygen to get him to an acceptable level… and then we found out he had developed pneumonia. His precious little lungs were just not getting a break! Living at the hospital while having one child at home is not an easy feat! Both children need you and so my husband and I would divide and conquer to be sure that both children had a parent with them. We would take turns sleeping at the hospital and trying to not let M.J.’s little muscles fatigue from lying in a bed all day all while trying to keep him entertained with legos and special treats from his favorite place: Starbucks!

Now I might remind you that all of this was triggered by the smoke from the California fires that ravaged our state. The air quality was not good and that was what put him in a tailspin. Unfortunately, the same exact thing can happen should he get a virus, especially one that targets the respiratory track. M.J.’s lungs are still susceptible to this day and that is why we have chosen to quarantine our whole family for the last 21 days and will continue to quarantine for the next two weeks of Shelter in Place in the Bay Area. When they talk about “flattening the curve” just know it is for more than just the elderly! While it protects them as well, it is also protecting those with weakened immune systems and other underlying conditions.

We are doing everything in our power to protect our family and we implore you to do the same! If not for you and your family, please do it for the people who are at risk of complications! There has been less emphasis on protecting children, due to initial reports that they were not at risk from COVID-19, but new research is showing that children (even healthy children) can get this virus and thus we must take it more seriously! The sooner we can socially distance the sooner we can hopefully get back to life as we know it.

Full disclosure that I am not a doctor and am not giving any medical advice, but I would like to share what I keep in our “toolbox” to help deal with these types of situations. Everything from my favorite locking travel medicine bag and no-contact thermometer, to my children’s favorite “night-light” humidifier and the pulse oximeter I use to check my asthmatic son’s 02 levels. The most important step is to be ahead of the curve, so if you suspect you have a chid with asthma, talk to your pediatrician to see if a Pulmonologist would be the next best step. From there they usually create an Asthma Action Plan to help you know what to do in a multitude of situations. I might add that all of the items below work for health issues well beyond asthma and help us navigate many different illnesses. It’s all about being prepared and well informed.

1. Travel Locking Medicine Bag, Medicine Safe 2. Otoscope, Dr. Mom 3. Pulse Oximeter, Santamedical 4. Humidifier, Tendomi 5. Remote Health Exam, Tyto Health 6. Fever Patches, Be Kool 7. Digital Thermometer, Withings

The one thing our family is focusing on during these crazy and confusing times is that LOVE and HEALTH are all that matter! We are wishing you both!

The Adventures of a Pumping Mama

I love breastfeeding, but it is certainly not for everyone! I, for one, pass zero judgement as a fed baby is a happy baby! It did take this third time Mama some time to grow to like/appreciate pumping. With my first two, I viewed it as a tether…almost like jail. The sounds, the exposure, the upright position I had to be in…nothing spelled F-U-N! 

This time around I have a whole new perspective, with much of that thanks to my incredible cord free Willow pump. When my mom got me the Willow pump for my babyshower, I had no idea what a gamechanger it would be! One of the best things is that you are fully covered and with no cords can walk around and be present with your family while pumping. The reality for me, however, is that I am usually pumping while everyone is asleep. The best part of the Willow is that you can lay down while you pump (my favorite thing to do at 3:00 am.) I use to sit on the edge of my bath tub as my old pump would spill milk everywhere if you were not straight up and down. This was extremely liberating for me! 

My “formula” that has worked quite well, is to start pumping around the 1-2 week mark in the evenings usually after feeding and continuing at night even once my baby starts doing longer stretches. That schedule would look something like pumping around 10:00 pm before I would go to sleep and then waking again between 2:00-4:00 am to pump and build a freezer supply to allow me flexibility. That flexibility allows me to work, go on date nights and volunteer at my boys school…it is extremely important to me to build that stash in the first six months.

I am extremely passionate about this mainly due to my severe dairy allergy that prompted warning against all formula for all three of our children. I am allergic to the protein in milk and I was terrified to risk one of our children having the same allergy. Therefore, I decided early on that I would try to exclusively breastfeed or bottle feed pumped milk for one year with all three children. It is a BIG commitment, but one that I have grown to love and treasure! I have two more months left for my third baby, and trust me when I say I am savoring every moment!

Now I am the first to admit that every baby is different and you have to do what works for you and your little one! All three of my babies have varied with the most different being my little caboose! She is the only one that does not like the bottle! I have an entire freezer full of milk and she does not like it in bottle format. We had to be adaptable and as she has gotten older we add it daily to her food (which she loves)!

I will tell you that I have pumped in some pretty funny places! On a golf course during a round of 18, on the freeway headed to Disneyland, in a powder room at a wedding, in a fitting room at Neiman Marcus and most recently in the bathroom at halftime during the 49ers Playoff game. The one thing I have realized is to never be embarrassed or apologize! You have to do what is best for you and your baby! Most places, even with strict regulations for entry like a football stadium, are very flexible when it comes to nursing mothers and if you show them your breast pump you shouldn’t have any problems getting in, even if it requires a larger clear bag :) Most people are compassionate and have empathy towards a nursing mother, and if they don’t they might one day and look back and feel differently. What matters most is you and your baby!

I do have a few favorite products that I attribute to my positive view towards pumping. I am not a doctor and these are solely products that I purchased on my own accord that I really love. This list has changed over the course of three different babies, and I feel as though the products are just getting better and better. 

Wishing you all the best on your journey!

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- Love List -

1. Hands Free Pump, Willow 2. New Mom Smoothie Blend, Seedlyfe 3. Organic Nipple Butter, Earth Mama 4. French Terry Racerback Nursing and Sleep Bra, Kindred Bravely. 5. Travel Pump Case, Milue 6. Marvella Classic Maternity & Nursing T-Shirt Bra, Kindred Bravely 7. Post Natal Lactation Plus, The Honest Company 8. Vegan and Gluten Free Lactation Bites, Majka

Life on the Tall Side

Dear darling daughter,

I was once that girl! The one who was taller than everyone in her class! The one who stood at the end of the line in height order and the back-row center of all school pictures. Trust me when I say it is the greatest blessing, but I know it won’t always be easy to see it that way!

Remember when people say “look how big you are” to immediately take it as a compliment and forgive their wording if it doesn’t sound flattering. You see, people don’t mean to sound insensitive, they just don’t even consider their words before they say them. My mom was truly the most incredible influence as she was so quick to program my brain that tall=beautiful! They were interchangeable words in her world and thus mine. I never had a chance to be self-conscious about my height as my mom did daily affirmations that made me lead with positivity. When someone was to say anything to me (you are so tall, you are so cute, you are a big girl, etc.) I was to immediately respond with a “thank you!” The affirmations were daily and I had to repeat them three times. First, she would say it, then I would repeat three times. I am strong, I am strong, I am strong! I am smart, I am smart, I am smart! I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful!

The constant repetition made me believe it and created a very confident little girl. Now don’t get me wrong, I went through an awkward stage where I look back now surprised at the confidence I had for the way that I looked. But that is the very root of the issue, it didn’t matter what I looked like on the outside. My mom made me so strong on the inside and we always discussed that it’s what on the inside that truly matters!

I don’t know at what point it became culturally acceptable to be a “tall girl” and frankly it doesn’t even matter. What does matter is raising strong women that don’t care if they are the shortest or tallest, that they view their individuality as a blessing and they become thankful for that blessing daily.

When people would say that I had big feet, my mom would quickly respond that I would fall over if my feet were any smaller. If people asked if I played volleyball or basketball upon seeing me, my mom would be quick to point out that I was a cheerleader and golfer (two things not usually associated with height).

One of my dear friends has taught me that she tells her daughters “you are strong, you are brave and you can do anything!” anytime they are nervous for something! To be honest, I also tell my boys that on a daily basis. As parents we want healthy, happy confident children who are also kind to others! If we focus on that as opposed to “who is academically gifted” or an “exceptional athlete” we can make tremendous strides in making children feel accepted.

So, to you my fellow girls, stand up tall and walk with pride. For being tall is a gift that should be cherished and it is up to you what you will do with it! And for all the haters out there, my favorite response to any negative comment is “I am sorry you feel that way!”

Know that pants might be hard to find, but that doesn’t matter! Know that you can love someone shorter or taller than you, it doesn’t matter! Like age, height is just a number! You do you! I am proud of you and will always be here for you!